Nairobi Man Celebrates 13th Wedding Anniversary Despite Marriage Ending, Shares Lessons

Photo: County

Today marks the 13th wedding anniversary for Elder Mboya Orinda, a milestone he cherishes despite his marriage having “spiritually ended on the day it began.”

In a Facebook post, Orinda reflected on his journey through marriage and subsequent divorce.

He recalled his wedding as the most beautiful day he had ever experienced, but noted that the joy of that day starkly contrasts with the painful realization that his marriage was not destined to last.

In honor of what would have been his 13th wedding anniversary, Orinda shared 10 valuable lessons he has learned from his experience.

Clarity Through Observation: Orinda underscores the importance of stepping outside the marriage to gain perspective. By observing the relationship as though evaluating an investment, one can objectively assess its value and its impact on personal well-being.
Personal Responsibility: Orinda reflects on how many issues in marriage stem from unresolved personal conflicts brought into the relationship. He acknowledges that problems often have roots in individual backgrounds rather than the marriage itself.
Self-Growth Post-Divorce: While acknowledging the pain of divorce, Orinda suggests it offers opportunities for self-improvement. It allows individuals to focus on their own needs and personal growth in ways they might have expected their spouse to support.
Change as a Constant: Orinda views divorce not as a failure but as a transformation. He believes that multiple relationships, whether with the same person or others, are part of life’s natural evolution.
Divorce as a Process, Not a Battle: According to Orinda, the legal aspect of divorce is merely administrative. The true emotional turmoil comes from unresolved internal conflicts rather than the divorce itself.
Inner Peace Over Reconciliation: Orinda emphasizes the importance of finding peace with oneself after a divorce, rather than trying to compensate for the loss of a partner. This principle holds significant meaning for him.
Allowing Space for Change: He advises giving a partner the space to grow personally, rather than trying to change them for the sake of the marriage. Reconciliation should be based on genuine personal development.
Children and Marriage: Orinda argues against staying in an unhappy marriage solely for the sake of children. He believes that children are more affected by the emotional strain of parents who remain in a dysfunctional relationship.
Grief of Divorce: He compares the grief of divorce to that of death, highlighting that it is a complex process with no clear endpoint or perfect way to navigate.
Marriage as a Cause of Divorce: Provocatively, Orinda suggests that marriage itself can be a leading cause of divorce and advises focusing on personal growth rather than rushing into marriage.